A Glass of milk

Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reaction?

Optimist: The glass is half full.

Pessimist: The glass is half empty.

Futurist: The milk’s in the wrong half of the glass.

Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it?

C Programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.

Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.

Basic programmers: No thanks; I’m still breast feeding.

Fuzzy logic guys: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.

Prolog programmers: I know I drank it – just don’t ask me how.

Non-procedural language programmers: I drank it when nobody was looking.

UI designers: What’s that crap in my glass?

Pentium users: I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don’t hold me to that.

Windows users: Where’s my straw?

Mac users: Where’s my pump?

UNIX users: Nahh . . . too easy.

Multimedia author: [slurp!]

Shareware game author: That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.

Security consultant: Where’d the rest of the milk go?

CIA: What makes you think that’s milk?

NSA: We know what it really is.

Copy protection crazies: Somebody drank half my milk and didn’t pay for it!

Free Software Foundation: That milk is the cow’s contribution to all mankind.

Bill Gates: Not enough market share to be icrosoft Milk.

Apple Computer: You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.

IBM: Rent the glass from us and we’ll fill it with something we know is good for you.

IRS: Thanks for getting your milk withholding correct this year.

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